


Real Best Friends Know Your Trauma

by Multifandomx



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Coming Out, Discussions of Self Harm, Family Issues, Gen, Homophobia, I just love the frogs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Racism, Racist Language, Self-Harm, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandomx/pseuds/Multifandomx
Summary: During a night of drinking the frogs end up spilling their deepest trauma's to each other. This results in a lot of crying, but they are all closer because of it.
Relationships: Chris "Chowder" Chow & Derek "Nursey" Nurse & William "Dex" Poindexter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	Real Best Friends Know Your Trauma

The frogs were all sitting in Chowder’s room of the Haus getting very, very drunk. All other occupants of the Haus had gone away that weekend. Bitty went to Providence, Lardo went to see Shitty, and Holster and Ransom went to Ransom’s cousin’s wedding. Holster felt bad for leaving Chowder alone for the weekend, so he bought him enough alcohol to take down a small army. So, Chowder invited Nursey and Dex over, and by now they were all at least 6 beers and 4 shots deep.

They were all squeezed onto Chowder’s twin bed, which for 3 large hockey players was a miracle. Chowder was on the right Nursey in the middle and Dex on the left. They had music playing, but otherwise the room was relatively silent. Chowder flipped onto his side to face his friends. “Hey, you guys.” He was slurring, like a lot. The other two looked over at their friend with half-lidded eyes. “I don’t think we talk about our feelings with each other enough, can we do that?” 

Nursey pushed himself up, so his back was leaning against the headboard. “Sure thing, Chowder, what do you wanna talk about?” Chowder sat cross legged, so he was facing his friends.

“I don’t know, I just feel like we should talk more. I mean we are best friends. Like I don’t ever know what’s going on with you guys. Nursey is always like “chill” and Dex is always like “ahhhh” so, I don’t know. I just care about you guys, because those can’t be your only emotions.” Dex flipped and propped himself up on his right elbow.

“Chowder, like you said we are best friends, if we needed to talk to you, we would.” Nursey nodded in agreeance. 

Chowder sighed, “Well, maybe I want to talk to you guys.” Both boys gave the other all their attention. “I just…sometimes I feel like maybe I’m not good enough, like for the team, or Cait, or even you guys.” 

“Dude, you are enough for all those things. You were the first line goalie your fucking freshman year. Farms loves you so much dude. And, you are the best friend I could have ever asked for.” Nursey tried to put his hand on Chowder’s shoulder, but missed (they are like super drunk). He tried again though, and succeeded. 

Chowder nodded, “I know you’re probably right, but it’s just hard sometimes.” 

“It takes time, Chowder. Everyone feels that way sometimes.” Dex flopped over on his back again.

“Yeah, I felt that way at Andover, I made the mistake of coming out to someone who I thought was my friend on the team when I was 16. He told everyone and well I wasn’t invited anywhere anymore. They even made me wait on the ice until all of them were done in the locker room.” Nursey looked so sad.

“It’s hard to believe Shitty was ever on that team.” Nursey nodded. “Hey Nurse,” Dex was still facing the ceiling, but had his eyes closed. 

“Hmm” Nursey turned to look at his obviously very sleepy friend.

“How did you come out to your family? I mean did you at all? Or did you just like bring home a guy?” Dex opened his eyes and tilted his head towards Nursey.

“Oh, um…well I came out to my moms first, obviously, when I was like 15, I think. We were all just sitting around, and I looked at them and blurted out “I think I might like guys,” not my finest moment.” Nursey laughed a little at the memory. “My ma came over and sat next to me on the couch and just hugged me, and my mami walked through the room and ruffled my hair, and that was kinda that.” Nursey shrugged.

“What about your dad?” Nursey seemed to tense slightly at Chowder’s question.

“Um…I…he…I love my dad a lot, but he wasn’t around often when I was a kid. So, I didn’t come out to him until I was like 17. I think it was right before I went back to Andover for senior year. He was asking me about school and hockey.” Nursey cleared his throat and sat up straighter. “He asked me why Andrew didn’t visit that summer, oh Andrew was the guy on the team who I thought was my friend.” Nursey appeared to be getting a little choked up.

“Hey, Derek you don’t need to tell us.” Nursey shook his head and looked between Dex and Chowder.

“He asked me, and I didn’t know how to answer. So. I just sat there staring at him. He stared back and literally just waited for me to speak, so eventually I did. I told I didn’t know why, and he responded with ‘right that’s why you just stared at me silently for 3 minutes. What is going on Derek?’ But, I didn’t want to say it.” 

Dex sat up and put his hand on Nursey’s back. “I um, kinda like slouched into the chair I was in, and looked at the ceiling and said, ‘everyone on the team hates me.’ He didn’t believe me and said it was all in my head. So, I looked him in the eyes and said ‘I’m pansexual dad. I like guys sometimes, and now everyone on the team hates me, ok? I told Andrew and he told everyone else and now they all hate me.’” Nursey had silent tears rolling down his face.

“…what did he say?” Chowder scooted closer to Nursey, as if that was really possible on the bed. 

“He didn’t. He left the fucking room. I sat there and cried for 3 hours, and I had no one to call or talk to. I didn’t have any friends and if I told my moms they would have flipped on my dad, I didn’t want that. After he came back out and said, ‘we should probably get you back to your mom’s.’ We drove in silence and when we got there and I got out, he didn’t even say he loved me. He had never done that before. He always said it when he would drop me off and he didn’t.” Nursey’s voice was cracking and sounded thick. 

“Well we love you Nurse, right Dex?” He nodded and put his arm around his friend’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry for asking Nursey. I shouldn’t have.” Nursey looked at Dex and shook his head.

“I’ve never been able to tell anyone that, other than my therapist, but no one I care about.” He smiled kindly at his friends. “Want to know the worst part?” Nursey grabbed Chowder’s hand. “He hasn’t said it since then. He’s never said it again, but he still fights my mom for certain holidays…but he doesn’t love me.” Nursey let out a sob at the end.

Dex was pretty sure this was the first time he had ever seen Nursey lose his cool, other than when they would get into an argument. He felt horrible, which is probably what prompted his next move. “I think I’m gay.” The other two frog’s heads shot over, so they were looking at their friends. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make this about me. I just…I don’t know. We can focus on you.” 

The other two stared on in disbelief. “Yeah, no we can’t.” Nursey agreed. “Dude, that’s ‘swawesome! Thank you for trusting us with this moment.”

“Yeah dude, that’s fucking sick.” Nursey patted him on the back.

Dex had a pretty big smile on his face, until he remembered why he had said it in the first place. “The reason I um said that was because…I was gonna say. I don’t mean for this to sound bad.” Nursey nodded. “At least you have a loving and accepting house, and like your dad still fights to see you. If I were to tell my parents…” He began to well up. “I probably wouldn’t ever be allowed home again, and none of my siblings would stick up for me either. I really wouldn’t have anyone.” He felt really selfish, because he didn’t mean to diminish Nursey’s story, but that was just the truth about it.

“You don’t know that Dex.” Chowder looked at his friend lovingly.

“My dad doesn’t talk to his sister anymore because she ‘chose the way of the devil’ and married a woman. So, I’m pretty sure I know how this goes.” He opened the bottle of whiskey he had placed on Chowder’s nightstand and took a large swig. He offered it to Nursey who did the same, and then Chowder who repeated. 

“Alright Chow, spill. What’s your trauma?” He looked at Nursey confused. “We shared ours, and you wanted to talk about our emotions so spill.” Chowder looked down at his hands in his lap.

“Well…I mean, I had a pretty easy life. My parents are great, the rest of my family is amazing. I guess maybe…” He let out a sigh. “I know…I always seem so happy and it’s because I am…most of the time. Well…in 9th grade some guy moved to my school and for some reason his main goal was to make my life a living hell.” He looked at his friends for encouragement.

They both smiled back, warmly at him. “He would just do and say a bunch of racist shit. One day…” He took a deep breath, “one day I was leaving school and I was walking home. He pulled up next to me in his truck and started like harassing me out the window. He started doing this every day…you know what? This isn’t even nearly as bad as either of yours so…”

“Chowder, it’s not a competition. Everyone’s trauma is valid.” Nursey grabbed one of his hands.

He nodded and continued, “one day, he tried to hit me with his car. He um missed, but as he was driving off, he told me he was just trying to do the world a favor and get rid of a ch**k like me.” Nursey and Dex both had very hurt looks on their faces. “I thought, maybe he was right. After about two more times of that he told me to just kill myself so…” 

Dex interrupted, “No you didn’t Chris.” Chowder looked sadly at his friends.

“I went home, it was empty, because both of my parented worked until 5 and it was like 3. I went upstairs and I wrote a note.” Nursey and Dex both had tears in their eyes. Chowder did not, like he had relived this so many times he was numb to it. “I took apart one of my dad’s razors and got in the bathtub.” He heard Dex let out a small whimper. “I um…I cut my left wrist…there was so much blood. I realized I didn’t really want to die, but I couldn’t do anything.” He squeezed Nursey’s hand. “But then I heard my mom at the door. She got out early that day for some reason. She knocked and asked if I was in there. I tried to yell, but it really wasn’t loud. She heard me though.”

Dex crawled over Nursey’s legs and sat next to Chowder. “She uh…started screaming. I’ll never forget her words ‘Chris! Oh my god baby, no!’ I shook my head and said I was sorry to her. She called 911 I guess and next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed.” He cleared his throat, “but yeah, that’s my shit.” Nursey and Dex stared at him with tears running down their faces and looks of disbelief. 

“Chris…I…you never told us that, why?” Nursey hiccupped. Chowder shrugged.

“I’ve never told anyone. Not even Farms. I guess…sometimes I want to forget it happened. My parents aren’t like the stereotypical Asian parents, they were proud of everything I did. That was the one time I felt like they were disappointed in me.” 

“Did anything happen to the guy?” Chowder shook his head at Dex.

“No, I was too embarrassed to do anything. But that’s why I choose to be happy most days. I almost had my life ripped out of my hands. I…I never wanna be there again.” He smiled at his friends. “But I think I have a pretty great support system now.” They both hugged him.

“Ok, enough alcohol and enough emotions for the night.” Nursey took the bottle out of Dex’s hand as he went to take a sip. 

Chowder laughed, “are you guys staying here?” 

“Honestly Chowder, I don’t think my legs could carry me across campus if I want them to.” Nursey laughed and agreed with Dex. 

Chowder got off the bed, “ok, well we all have to sleep in here. Do you guys want to sleep on the bed, and I’ll take the floor?” Nursey and Dex looked at each other and then Chowder.

“I don’t know how Christopher Chow, but we are sleeping on this bed.” Chowder shrugged at his friend and turned off the light. 

He climbed back onto the right side of the bed and Dex climbed back to the left. They basically all had to spoon each other to fit. “Thank you so much guys. I love you.” Chowder smiled as he fell asleep.

\--

The next morning, they all woke up with wicked hangovers. “Holy shit. I can feel my brain smacking around my head.” Nursey and Chowder groaned in agreement.

“Um guys,” Chowder was rubbing his eyes. “I still wanna thank you for last night. That was…that was really hard for me, but you didn’t…um make me feel judged, and…just thanks.” 

“Chowder, you know we love you the most. We would never judge you, but I’m gonna need you to not talk for the next 4-10 hours, because my head is gonna fucking explode.” Nursey rubbed his temples.

“What he said, all the love, and shutting up.” Dex covered his eyes with his hands. 

Chowder smiled at his friends with his eyes closed, and laid back down.


End file.
